Bad Days

So, we went on for the ultrasound at 18 weeks- Wed. Aug 5th. The tech looked at the baby, and could find no heart beat. Dave and I were devastated. Losing the baby LAST August, we figured only bad luck once, but I guess not. Dr. Lunt came in and talked to us about the options. I could wait for the baby to come on his own- yep- it was a boy! Or, be induced and deliver the baby. We went in that night to Labor and delivery and got medicine every 4 hours. It was really hard going through the motions of labor knowing that I wasn't getting anything at the end. Not too much pain until about 7 AM. I started having hard contractions right on top of eachother, then I could tell it was ready. The Dr. and nurse came in and delivered our little boy, Holden. He was 6 1/4 inches and 2 oz. 10 fingers and 10 toes attached to some really long, skinny legs! 2 little ears, but you could tell he obviously wasn't ready. Dr. Lunt figured he had died about 2 weeks ago, at 16 weeks from what- we don't know. He said he didn't see anything wrong with him. They did send the placenta off for chromosomal testing, and did a bunch of blood work on me to try to find a reason why I have had 2 miscarriages in 1 year and 3 other normal, healthy pregnancies.
Dave and I got to hold him and be with him for a little while, then I got taken to the OR for a D&C since the placenta didn't come out, and it was abnormally thick. We got home yesterday, and of course it has been an exhausting couple days. Thanks to everyone who has helped with the girls, meals and treats brought over, cards, flowers, phone calls, and just being there to listen to us cry. We love you all so much. We may not ever know why this happened, I guess you just have to have faith that it will all make sense some day, and I have 2 babies waiting for me, so I better be good! I am glad we did everything we did. Considering the circumstances, it couldn't have gone better.